Reorientation

A Late Semester Summary for Students in Marriage and My Family Counseling Course

We study systems thinking to increase our understanding of how relationships work. The goal is to reorient our thinking and our awareness of our experience of the present moment with people.

Art Over Science

In today’s world, most counselors depend more on the science behind our practice than the art. Others suggest the science and the art should be utilized in a balanced way. I believe the art of counseling should be the focus, that the art should be pursued over science. This pursuit requires a reorientation.

Reorient What We See

We set out to see differently. Rather than focusing on what the problem is we focus on seeing how the relationships work, the impact these workings have on individuals (the space within), and how the invisible forces and feelings between people (the space between) create the world in which the couple and family live.

Reorient the Position We Strive for With People

We set out to relate differently—honestly, compassionately, and provocatively—with people. Coming along side instead of above, we set out to be leader companions with people on their journey toward increased openheartedness, self and other emotional awareness, and love.

Reorient Our Sensitivity Toward the Intersubjective Process

To achieve this helping position, we must reorient our empathic sensitivities toward the others. Our focus becomes feeling and understanding the layers of emotional experience of the other people. Awareness and understanding of our own feelings are in service to knowing the others’ experience.

Reorient our goals for the Counseling Process

Focusing on co-regulation of emotions and experience transforms counseling from problem solving as the main goal to counseling whose goals are growth in resilience, growth in capacity for low-anxious living, and growth in ability to be present and responsive in life’s moments.

Watching Video Examples

Watching videos of Monica McGoldrick, Sue Johnson, and Bill Doherty working with clients is an opportunity to see therapists working from different theories yet with a similar way of relating to people. Long experience has reshaped their ways of relating with their clients, reorienting them in what they see, the position they take, their intersubjective process, and the main goals they pursue with their people.